The Good Life

Preached by Pastor Ford Pfister on August 23, 2026 [watch online] | 1 Peter 3:8–12

1 Peter — “The Good Life”

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”—1 Peter 3:8–12

I want you to dream with me about the good life. What does that look like to you? What do you imagine? What do you see? If I could snap my fingers and you would walk away living the good life, what would change? What would happen? What would you have?

It is not hard to start the list. On Friday I asked a group of high school football players that exact question, and you can probably guess the answers. About ten hands went up. I called on one and he said, “Money.” The other nine hands went down, because that was their answer too. They thought a little longer, and someone got bold enough to raise his hand: “A car. A fast car.” All the hands went down again. Then a house, a big one. Then a championship. No, not a high school one, a college one. No, not a college one, the NFL, and then a Super Bowl.

Their friends started poking holes in it. “Bro, you have to ask for health. The cars and the money do not matter if you break your leg and cannot get drafted.” The quarterback wanted his shoulder. Somewhere in there they remembered to add a family, and some of you just realized you are going to be in real trouble if your family is not in the good life you have drawn up in your head. Then came the hard question: you have money, how much? Sixty million to retire, said the first one. Different zip codes, me and him. A hundred million, said the next. And a kid on the end, still working through his chili dog and baked beans before the game, said, “I will take a trillion, because I cannot even count that high.”

Then they started arguing among themselves. One of them had asked for a fast car, a Mustang, but there is always a Bugatti out there. And once you have the Bugatti, there is always a one of one special production. They ran straight into the problem: the good life they were dreaming up could never actually be satisfied. There was always going to be a what is next.

Here is what concerns me. When I asked you what the good life looked like, if you are anything like me, our answers probably came out looking a lot like a lost high school football team coming out of the gate. My first thought was vacations. Time off. A pretty nice salary and a pretty big house. A lot of possessions I am looking for and not finding. And notice what every one of those answers has in common. They center on two things: what we would have, and what would happen to us. Nowhere in that whole conversation with those players did we get to who we would become or how we would respond.

The worldly idea of the good life is that certain things must happen to you and you must have certain things. The biblical idea of the good life is centered far more on who we become than on what we have, and far more on how we respond than on what happens to us. So this morning I want to ask one question: what if we have been settling all this time for the pursuit of a worldly good life instead of the pursuit of the good life the Lord describes to us?

Where Peter Has Been Heading

The first word of our passage is “finally,” and that word tells you something. Peter has spent about a chapter and a half teaching us how to respond to our circumstances, and now he is wrapping that section up. You might remember he instructed citizens in how they respond to the state:

Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.—1 Peter 2:13–17

Then he instructed servants in how they respond to their masters, and he grounded it in the example of Christ himself:

Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.—1 Peter 2:18–25

Then he instructed wives in how they respond to their husbands. That was Chad’s week, not mine, and thank goodness for that:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.—1 Peter 3:1–6

And then husbands, in how they respond to their wives:

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.—1 Peter 3:7

I will point out that the husband’s instruction was one verse and the wife’s instruction was six. I feel like there is a joke in there somewhere. I am not going to make it. That was Chad’s week.

Now Peter says “finally,” and turns to everyone. If I had to summarize these five verses in one line, it is an instruction on the good life. Look down at verse 10 and you will see that Peter puts it that way himself: “a love of life and see good days.” Put those two together, a love of life and good days, and you arrive at our title.

Notice the structure. Peter teaches in verses 8 and 9, and then he follows it with the word “for.” That word is doing real work. It functions to say, this is why you should act this way. Verses 8 and 9 lay out how we conduct ourselves within our circumstances, and verse 10 tells us why: because this kind of conduct is what leads to a love of life and good days.

Before we go further, be clear about what Peter is and is not promising. He is not saying this leads to success. He is not saying it leads to monetary gain, or fame, or status. It is not going to be easy. It is not going to be pain free, and it is not even going to be persecution free. That is not the good life Peter is laying out. When Peter lays out the good life, he is laying out a life lived as God intended, which will always lead to human flourishing for God’s glory and our benefit. If you want to experience what is truly good in this world, you are not going to find it in your circumstances and you are not going to find it in your possessions. You will find it when you start living out God’s design for your life, which means conforming to the image of Christ for God’s glory and your good.

So here is my one and only goal this morning. I hope we can take this idea of a good life and stop settling for the world’s corrupt version of it and start seeking God’s perfect version of it.

Who We Are, Not What We Have

If we want to live the good life, we have to make it about who we are, not what we have. Look at verse 8. Watch what Peter says we must have:

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.—1 Peter 3:8

He says “have,” and you would expect a list of possessions to follow. You would expect materials. This is what you must have to have good days, to have a love of life. And then he names five things, and not one of them is a possession.

Unity of mind means agreement with God in how we think about his goodness and his mission. Sympathy means entering into another person’s experience, feeling their pain with them and celebrating their joys with them. Brotherly love is genuine affection and commitment to other people, as if they were family. A tender heart is a deep compassion that is moved by the needs and pains and struggles of others. A humble mind is a willingness to die to self and to place other people and their needs first.

Every one of those is a virtue. A characteristic. An attribute developed through discipleship and sanctification. Nothing like a possession. When I was dreaming up my good life just minutes ago, I was so quick to think about what I would have that I lost all concern with who I am becoming.

I could camp out on this idea all day, but here it is in summary: somewhere along the line, even Christians bought the lie that the good life is found in what we have, not who we are. We have become so convinced the good life is based on what we have materially that we have lost concern with who we are becoming spiritually.

Think about who you are versus what you have. As a believer, as a child of God, you have at your fingertips a peace that surpasses understanding, a joy that is not limited by your circumstances, a contentment that is unrivaled and unshakable, and fulfillment in participating in the mission of the Most High. And yet when we picture the good life, we picture possessions. Peter lists five qualities developed through discipleship and sanctification and modeled for us by Jesus. They are not material. They are imperishable. They please the Lord. They satisfy. They glorify God, and they are for our benefit.

I think about a story I heard recently from one of our college students. Kaylyn was heading off to college her freshman year, and she had been building the habit of stopping to meet people’s physical needs so she could share the hope of the gospel with them. She was driving home from Walmart and saw a woman on the corner of the road, and she began the debate all of us have had in our heads. I have somewhere to be. I have a limited amount of money. I have a limited amount of time. It could be dangerous. So she kept driving. And then about halfway home she yielded to the Holy Spirit, popped a U-turn, and went back.

She met a woman named Delilah. Delilah told her about her stage of life, her circumstances, her brokenness and her hardship. Kaylyn went into Walmart, bought her what she had asked for, came back, gave it to her, shared the gospel, and left a Bible with her. Then she went off to school, and about two years went by.

Kaylyn was back home recently, headed to that same Walmart, and she saw a lady on the corner. She stopped to share the gospel, and the lady said, “You’re back.” Kaylyn did not recognize her. And then the woman pulled out a Bible, and Kaylyn said, “That’s Delilah.” Her circumstances were the same. She was in the same place. But she said, “No, no, no, no. So much has changed. I have hope. I have been reading this. There is a plan for my life. There is a purpose for my life. I have a Father who loves me, who cares for me, who knows me by name.”

How much money do you think I could offer Kaylyn Watson to undo what she chose to do that day? A hundred bucks? A thousand? A million dollars? What monetary value can you possibly ascribe to knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you are living in a manner that pleases God and brings him glory? What Kaylyn and Delilah both found out unmistakably is that the good life had nothing to do with possessions. Possessions contribute to an easy life. They contribute to a comfortable life. But the good life was not a tent or a meal. It was a hope and an eternity secured for her by Jesus on the cross, and the mouthpiece he chose to bring her the news. The good life Delilah experienced was the result of who she could be as a child of God, not what she could have as a material possession on this earth.

Sadly, we are often unconvinced by this argument. So the parent who wants to provide the good life for his children starts taking on more work and longer hours to provide a worldly good life of vacations and square footage, and along the way his family pays the price. They spend less time with him. They know him less. He becomes more detached. He is abandoning the good life as defined by Scripture for the good life as prescribed by the world. You see it in the person seeking the good life of status and reputation, chasing promotions, not realizing when he starts to contradict his own values or become harsh and competitive and ruthless on the way to the top. He compromises the good life offered to him by God in pursuit of the good life offered by the world.

Here is a theme you will see throughout Scripture, and it is very simple. God provides what is best for us, and the enemy offers a counterfeit promise that pales in comparison. God says, I designed you, I know what is required for human flourishing. And the enemy says there is something better. It goes all the way back to Genesis 3, and it continues to this day:

But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”—Genesis 3:4–5

We have to decide. Are we going to seek the good life offered by the world, measured by what we have? Or the good life offered by God himself, defined by who we become as we are molded into the image of his likeness? Jesus put the question very appropriately:

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?—Matthew 16:26

There is something greater than what we have, and it is who we are in Christ. Do not buy the lie that the good life is a result of what you have. Believe the truth that the good life is a result of who you are in Christ.

How We Respond, Not What Happens to Us

Second, if we want to live the good life, we make it about how we respond, not what happens to us. This is powerful. Please do not miss it. Look at verse 9:

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.—1 Peter 3:9

Let us break this down phrase by phrase. First: do not repay evil for evil. The teaching is clear. When people wrong you, your desire is to wrong them back. No one has to teach you that. Then he adds to it: or reviling for reviling. Reviling is hate speech. It is slander. It is evil in spoken form rather than evil in physical action. So what is being said at the beginning of verse 9 is this: when someone wrongs you, either physically or verbally, do not repay them by wronging them in return, either physically or verbally. That alone is counter-cultural.

Has anyone in here ever been wronged? I want you to really think about that, and I want you to come up with a specific instance. Maybe your mind goes somewhere simple. Someone cuts you off in traffic. If you have driven White Horse Road, you have been wronged. There is an evil that takes place on White Horse Road on a daily basis. We could uproot the whole service and just have an illustration next Sunday. Maybe someone was rude to you on your way into a restaurant. Maybe someone did not invite you to something, and not accidentally this time, but on purpose. Or maybe it is more serious. Have people intentionally spread lies about you? Tried to drag your name through the dirt? Tried to destroy your reputation? Maybe someone close to you betrayed you. Maybe someone tried to hurt you, or someone you love.

The feelings that stir up in you are a need to repay evil with evil, to repay reviling with reviling, a desire almost too strong to control. And with that situation in your mind, Peter does not stop at telling you to withhold. He says, but on the contrary, bless. Bless the person who wronged you. Meet their needs. Take care of them. Meet them where they are. And look at what comes next: for to this you were called. It is not that it is sufficient to keep from revenge. You were called to respond with blessing when people wrong you.

Then Peter gives the reason: that you may obtain a blessing. This is important. This is not a material blessing. It is not an earthly reward. It is not some comfort or ease added to your life. The blessing Peter is talking about here is the good life itself. It is right standing before God, favor with the Almighty, God himself.

Here is where it all comes together, and this is what I love so much. If that is true, then when people commit evil acts against us, physically or verbally, they are not able to rob us of the good life we have in Christ. They cannot steal right standing and favor with God from us. What robs us of the good life is when we then decide to respond with evil.

The truth is, we have all been wronged. And when we are wronged, especially in a significant way, it feels like we are being robbed of the good life. It feels like we are being robbed of our peace, our joy, our fulfillment, our standing. It feels like they are taking something from us. But if you believe the good life is right standing before God because of who you choose to be and how you choose to respond, then people become powerless to rob you of the good life. If it is based on who I choose to become for God’s glory and how I choose to respond for God’s glory, there is nothing anyone can take from me and nothing anyone can say to me that robs me of it.

How else can Paul say he has learned the secret of contentment while sitting in a jail, having been beaten and persecuted? He has nothing, and only bad has happened to him:

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.—Philippians 4:11–12

How can Jesus say what he says as he hangs on a cross made by the same human hands he came to save? He has nothing, and only bad has happened to him:

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.—Luke 23:34

Those statements can be made because the good life of right standing before God, for his glory and our benefit, is not based on what you have or what happens to you. It is based on how you choose to respond and who you choose to become. As you live that out, prioritizing who you are becoming for God’s glory and how you are responding for God’s glory, you begin to taste and see what verse 10 calls a love of life and good days, and it cannot be compromised or stolen by people.

John Piper wrote that your life becomes a foretaste of your cherished future. A glimpse. A little taste of what is to come in heaven. When you live according to God’s word, you can taste and see, and have your appetite whetted for the glory and goodness of eternity.

So the good life is not what you have and it is not what happens to you. It is who you become and how you respond to what happens to you. Think again about Delilah. Delilah began living the good life the moment she placed her faith and hope in Jesus. Her life became a foretaste of her cherished future. Nothing changed in what was happening to her. Nothing changed in what she had. But who she was becoming and how she was responding to her circumstances had been turned on its head. That is the good life: the realization of God’s sufficiency despite what happens to you and despite what you have, because you have an uninterruptible, unshakable, unchanging, irreplaceable relationship with Jesus.

What We Seek, Not What We Settle For

So how do you get there? How do you get to the point where what you have and what happens to you no longer bothers you, no longer gets to you, no longer robs you of your joy, your peace, your fulfillment, your contentment? Look at verses 10 through 12:

For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”—1 Peter 3:10–12

The prescription is in verse 11, and the action being demanded comes down to a question: what are you seeking, and what are you settling for? Verse 11 says to turn away from evil and do good, to seek peace and pursue it. The idea is that our goal should be to seek good and to seek peace, but too often we settle along the way for something lesser.

When I think about the contrast between good and evil in these verses, I think we often misunderstand evil. We think of evil as the big, heinous, obvious, glaring bad guy. We think of evil as the disgusting, obvious, cruel crime. But in this contrast we have to be reminded that good is synonymous with God. All good things come from God. So evil in this instance is anything lesser than God, or outside of God.

Here is the picture. We are on the road of life seeking God’s face, God’s glory, God’s peace. And all along that road we will have the option to compromise, to settle for anything lesser, anything outside of who God is and what he has designed. So the question, going back to where we started, is this: will we seek to live in a manner pleasing to God and beneficial for us, the real good life as prescribed by Scripture, more consumed with who we are for his glory and how we respond for his glory than with what happens to us and what we have? Or will we settle for what this world has to offer?

Zach introduced me to a quote from C. S. Lewis this week that I love. Lewis writes that our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak, that we are half-hearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are, Lewis says, far too easily pleased.

What I think Lewis is communicating is that there is a good life in relationship with Jesus where we conform to his likeness and respond for his glory, and we settle instead for a more tangible good life that we can see and understand, thinking it has more to do with what we have and what happens to us than with who we are and how we respond.

So — Have You Settled?

Peter’s argument across these five verses is not complicated. The good life is about who we are, not what we have. It is about how we respond, not what happens to us. And it is about what we seek, not what this world has taught us to settle for.

It is so easy to find ourselves walking and seeking worldly things. It is so easy to fix our eyes on a material good life we can feel and see and understand. That is why I believe verse 11 tells us to turn away from it — because God knows we are wired by our sin nature to prioritize it. He does not simply tell us not to start walking that way. He tells us to turn from that way, because that is the way we are born walking.

Each of us has a different shiny thing that draws our attention. For some it is money. For others, status. For some, reputation. For others, work, or cars, or houses. Maybe it is even idolizing a good biblical thing that was never meant to be the main thing. My prayer is that the false promise of wealth and prosperity on this earth would be broken in us, and that we would realize the only good life is found in relationship with Jesus — with a peace that surpasses understanding, a joy that is not contingent on circumstances, and fulfillment in partnering in the mission of the Most High.

So as we close, let me just ask you. Have you settled for the good life this world promises, based on what you have and what happens to you? Or are you still seeking the good life God promises, based on who you are and how you respond?

Scripture references in this message: 1 Peter 3:8–12; 1 Peter 2:13–17; 1 Peter 2:18–25; 1 Peter 3:1–6; 1 Peter 3:7; 1 Peter 3:8; Genesis 3:4–5; Matthew 16:26; 1 Peter 3:9; Philippians 4:11–12; Luke 23:34; 1 Peter 3:10–12. (ESV)

Want to go deeper? Join us Sunday mornings as we continue working verse by verse through 1 Peter at Berea First Baptist Church.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.